unpopular opinion on manifesting – who is the creator of our lives?

My life is unfolding perfectly.

I am exactly where I’m meant to be.

These are some of my go-to mantras and I’m learning again and again that this is truth.

I’m having a bit of a crisis of faith in the power of intention and manifesting because I wonder – do we really create our own reality? Are we truly the creators of our lives?

Or is it the universe, god, our spirit guides that already have a divine plan for us and let it unfold when it needs to?

I am leaning more and more towards the latter. Something I’ve always known, that everything is happening for us and the universe has a divine plan for us and everything will come into my life when I need it so I can give up control and just simply let go and trust.

However, the topic of manifesting and “creating your own reality” and DOING THAT WORK and saying that we are responsible for whatever is going on in our lives because we have manifested it is super hot hot hot right now and it messed with my belief system a bit.

You see all those influencers on social media talking about how to manifest your dream life and that if your life isn’t how you want it it’s your fault and that its YOUR responsibility to manifest and posting all those inspirational quotes like “you create your own reality”.

I want to call bullshit on that belief.

We do not create our own reality.

We our living out our divine plan and everything is happening exactly how it’s supposed to.

That means that whatever is going on in your life is happening FOR you not TO you.

That means that we can’t feel the pressure to “manifest” right because it’s not about that.

That means that if you’ve been manifesting your dream home or your dream career or your dream life and it’s not happening yet, that doesn’t mean that you’re doing a bad job of manifesting.

It means that it isn’t your time yet.

You’ll get there and you’ll have that IF it’s meant for you.

If it’s not meant for you, then it won’t happen.

I say this, because there is NO way I can be held responsible for the miracles occurring in my life.

I can not create my own reality because my reality is so divinely led.

I can not choose what will or will not happen because I leave it up to the plan of the universe to see what they have in store for me.

I don’t want to take sole responsibility for “creating” my own life, because while yes it is up to ME to decide how hard I’m going to work, how aligned I’m going to be in my path, what to do, what to create, etc, I live in the divine flow of the universe and know that what is FOR me will come to me and what is not for me will not.

I had a couple magical things happen this month that came in the most UNEXPECTED ways that I could not have manifested it myself! (and MIND YOU, this is the FIRST MONTH I did not do a monthly manifestations post because it just didn’t feel right)

I’ll tell you two stories here to illustrate my point:

Story #1

I auditioned to read stage directions for the new work conferences at my job at the O’Neill and since I read them last year, I didn’t get picked to do a play this year.

I was disappointed, but oh well. THEN, the person who was chosen to read stage directions for one of the musicals suddenly had work conflicts and they needed someone to fill the spot.

Because I was the one of the ONLY ones who didn’t get chosen to read for the plays, they offered it to me.

This meant I spend almost 2 weeks IN THE REHEARSAL ROOM with some of Broadway greats and my theater IDOLS like Jessica Vosk, Julia Murney, Ari Afsar, Lauren Gunderson, Nikhil Saboo, Janet Dacal, and so many more.


I was suddenly in the room of my dreams and it all happened to just appear right in my lap. I could not have created this dream! The universe GAVE this to me.

Story #2

One of my June intentions was to book my first client.

I had a whole bunch of free coaching calls scheduled in May and June, which were great but nobody wanted to sign on as a paid client.

I was disappointed and felt like maybe coaching isn’t for me right now, and started focusing on my work at the O’Neill and because I can’t just not do anything for my dreams, started writing my creativity coaching course.

THEN, last week someone posted on the B-School Facebook that they were looking for a “spiritual coach for a creative” – I commented on it saying I’m a creativity coach.

About 50 people commented on it all claiming they were spiritual coaches and work with women and work with people’s creativity and helping them be more open.

Because I was the only one that was specifically a creativity coach, the woman commented back and said the person who was looking for a coach already booked a call for the next day.

I was like wow, wait out of all these people you want me? sweet!

It ended up being a male in his middle age with a full time job, wife, kids, but had a dream of being a screenwriter and needed help working through limiting beliefs.

We had a quick 20 minute free call and he said he was interested in working with me, I sent him over the payment link and within 15 minutes he had signed up and paid for a month long coaching package. WHAT?

Oh, and get this – I was going on about spirituality because the post said “spiritual coach” right and he stopped me and was like wait, I’m not spiritual at all.

Never in a million years did I think my first client would be a middle aged MAN who is non-spiritual.

My ideal client is definitely a spiritual woman, but again, this was not up for me to decide!

The universe directly put this opportunity in my path to challenge me and help face some of my own triggers because this is SO completely out of my comfort zone and I was having so many things come up for me:

  • -feeling completely unqualified
  • -feeling like I had no idea what I was doing
  • -feeling like I’m too young and I can’t help a middle-aged person with a real job and a real family
  • -feeling like I have no value or insight to give a man (which comes from my own personal daddy issues & internalized misogyny)

I was feeling all these triggers so hard that as soon as I got off the call I started crying because I was so uncomfortable and so terrified.

Deep down all my fears coming to the surface, I knew that the universe was putting this opportunity in my path so that I could grow.

I knew this was exactly FOR me even though it scares the wits out of me. It’s what I need to grow.

I hope these stories were expanding to you and remind you to not feel the weight of your life’s destiny on your shoulders. You are not responsible for controlling and manipulating your fate.

I still wholeheartedly believe in the power of ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT. NAMING IT. SETTING INTENTIONS. But then, letting it go and trusting that whatever is for you will come to you.

Surrender and be open.

That is where the true magic & manifestation comes into play ā¤

Let me know if this resonates with you at all since I know this is not what is usually put out there in regards to manifestation. or maybe I’m missing the point entirely!

Let me know your thoughts below.





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