I’m quitting my job to go to India…
I’m leaving my first big girl post-grad job to go to India to take a month long Yoga Teacher Training Course and then will be traveling around Bali & Thailand for six weeks then returning to the states and moving to New York City.
It feels good to finally announce this and start the next chapter in my life!
I will say, I did not make this decision lightly. I’ve been going back and forth with it for months and it was weighing on my heart heavyyyy until I just decided to listen to my intuition and go for it.
I had been asking everyone in my life if they thought this was the right choice and while friends were encouraging, my family was not (bless their hearts) mostly because they want me to be safe and protected.
In the end, I knew I had to quiet the external noise and listen to my heart and my guides and do what they were telling me and the answer I got over and over was answer the call.
Am I still terrified to do so? Yep.
I go back and forth between excited and then terrified, but what I’ve learned with anything in life is that what you’re meant to do and what will push you to grow is constantly putting yourself in situations that mix the thrill of excitement and terror and just going for it.
This past year, I’ve truly learned the meaning of RISK and doing the scary thing in order to go after your dreams.
I’ve always heard people say that it’s super brave to follow your dreams, and I never really understood that until this year.
Here’s why…
As I reflect back on this past year, I realize on paper, I had it all.
A stable job working in the theater with some great people. Rent & food completely covered. Living in a mansion (for free) on the ocean and waking up to the sunrise in the arms of my beloved every morning. A loving, supportive boyfriend who is down to do anything I want from exploring to just sitting in cafes and reading. Being able to walk on the beach before and after work. Time to work on my business while not worrying about money. Time to work on my creative endeavors like my one-woman show and poetry book. A car that gives me the freedom to go wherever I want. Weekend trips to the city to spend time with family. Traveling to Portugal, Dublin, Scotland, London, Hawaii, and California.
The list is endless!
When I sit down and write about my dream life, I was surprised that I was actually living it everyday!
I had everything I ever thought I wanted.
But yet, something was missing. I wanted more. I was not fulfilled.
I craved time freedom and the ability to make my own schedule and work from anywhere in the world. I hated being stuck in the same place and constantly waiting for the weekend or waiting for vacation in order to have fun and be able to LIVE my life.
Life is meant to be LIVED and not just for the weekends.
I also experienced the safety and security that a job like a 9-5 provides.
I experienced how EASY it is to get stuck in the trap of “sameness” and of the nice, comfortable life of having a job and a partner to come home to.
I got so freaking comfortable. Everything was familiar to me. I realized I hadn’t truly felt fear in over a year.
While I recognized and was grateful for the fact that I was living my dream life on paper, I knew that I wasn’t meant to be stuck in an office.
However, I could also see how alluring it was to SETTLE for being stuck in an office even though I knew it didn’t make me happy.
I was like, well why not just have a job that doesn’t fulfill you but is easy enough and just do that and then be able to follow your dreams after 5 pm and on the weekends?
While having a stable, structured life can be really great for your creativity depending on who you are, in other ways it can be so so easy to just get stuck in the trap of wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch netflix, go to bed and do the same thing over and over until the weekend.
Having a routine sometimes makes it really hard to break OUT of the routine.
That is what scares me more than anything else. Wasting away my precious youth getting caught in the boring, hamster wheel of adult life.
nope, nope, and nope.
I choose to lead a wild and creative life. I choose experiences over security. I choose risk over sameness. I choose LIFE.
Am I scared? Yes.
Am I worried I’m making the wrong choice? Yes.
But I also understand that my fear is part of it. I know that I am fully and abundantly supported by the universe in whichever path I choose. I know that there is a bigger plan for me. I know that I can leap and all I have to do is trust and I will be caught.
I am so incredibly grateful for my past two years at the O’Neill living in this seaside paradise.
It has so fully supported me as I made the transition from college/post-grad into the “real world” and figuring out what I want to do with my life.
I know this is exactly where I was meant to be because it came into my life so divinely that I could not have planned it myself.
I am so thankful and I know now that it’s time to move on.
I’m ready for the next thing.
With love,
Leya
Mermaid Musings 